Values - how they benefit us

There is quite some talk of values these days. So, I want to take a little time to explore what values are and how knowing your values and tapping into them can really help you.

What are values? Your values are those things that you hold to be important, the principles that guide your behavioural choices. They touch on your heart’s desire for who you want to be, how you want to act as a person, and how you want to treat others.

How do our values develop?

Most of our initial values in life are shaped by the family that we grew up in. Added to this are the cultural, social, and religious communities that we may have been a part of as we grew up. Through observation, direct teaching and modelling we learn what is important in terms of who we are to be as people and how we are to act. These become internalised over time to establish our value system.

Values, however, are not necessarily static and can change over time. These changes can come through personal growth as we discover our autonomy as individuals, changes in our religious or social beliefs, and through experiences in life. In all of these ways we are often in a place where we re-evaluate our values in light of our lived experience.

Values, to be values, need to be acted on and lived out, otherwise they are an aspiration – something we aspire to, but which don’t really impact the way we live and act.

What role, then, can values play in our lives and how does coaching help in the process? Here are three ways that values can help us live our lives with meaning and purpose.

Values Guide

At their core values help guide us in the decisions and choices we make. From how we spend our money, to how we treat ourselves and others, to the type of career or even life partner we might choose. In each case our values can shape these decisions and guide us towards a life that is lived in a way that is consistent with what we hold to be important. If we don’t know our values, it can lead to an inauthentic and unfulfilled life. We can make seemingly random choices without that core internal guidance we need.

Values Motivate

A second role of values is in motivating us to action. Sometimes we can be motivated by guilt or self-criticism which isn’t always the healthiest of motivations to act in a certain way. However, if my value is to be a caring person, then this can motivate me to act in ways that is both caring towards myself and to others. This can motivate me to action in eating healthily and keeping active, not out of guilt or judging myself, but out of a desire to be caring towards myself.

Values Build Resilience

The third way values can help us is that they can build resilience. Life sometimes has a way to grind us down. Stress, anxiety, difficult relationships or work life can demotivate us and wear us down. In those moments values can play an important role by providing us with the stability, confidence and clarity we need when life gets tough. Values such as perseverance or compassion can help us reach out to others when we need it, or to take that next step when life is difficult. They give us the inner strength we often need.

Values and Coaching

These are just three of the numerous ways that values can function positively in our life. Knowing our values and living in line with them can help us build that rich, meaningful and rewarding life we all desire. Through coaching we can explore your values together and find the pathways to living out your values in a way that motivates guides, motivates and builds resilience.

Resources

Brené Brown has done a lot of work on values, and she has developed some useful material on them. If you want to explore your values then click on the links below to material available on her website.

• Values list - a great list of just some of the values - a good place to start

• Values exercise - a good task to get you thinking about how you live out your values